


Visions in the Meadow

by atomicnebula



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, BL, Boy Love, M/M, Reincarnation, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-10-28 20:04:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10838442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomicnebula/pseuds/atomicnebula
Summary: “I never thought I’d see humanity’s strongest… crying.” The man closed his eyes once more but they did not open. Levi screamed, or he tried, all he felt was the air from his lungs being helplessly pushed out, like someone was squeezing his chest but his vocal chords did nothing.





	1. Whispers of Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm back! My first Eruri fic, so judge me all you want. This was my first ship when I got into the whole fandom thing, so I thought I was behind on writing this. This is basically a reincarnation au where Levi and Erwin keep having dreams and visions of each other back in Shiganshina but don't want to admit it to each other, because hey, don't want to be to be a complete psycho right? 
> 
> Otherwise enjoy!
> 
> Updates will be on every Friday.

     “I never thought I’d see humanity’s strongest… crying.” The man muttered. His face was covered in mud, dust, and caked blood. Tears streamed from his bloodshot, bruised eyes as he looked up from where he was laying. His vision was fuzzing at the edges but he still smiled, knowing these were his last moments. Levi reached down, gently running his hands through his dusty blonde hair, blinking through the tears to get a final look at him. “Don’t cry for me, Levi. Don’t remember me like this. Remember me as I was… a commander, a friend… a lover.” His words were strained and he winced forcing the words to be spoken. There was yelling and booming around them, but the sound fell on silent ears. Nothing could be bothered at this moment. Through all the pain he felt, he closed his eyes for a brief moment and looked up once more, “I love you, Levi. But I can’t stay.” Levi opened his mouth to scream, to protest, but only empty gasps. He wanted to scream back and tell him how much he loved him, how everything was going to be okay. The man closed his eyes once more but they did not open. Levi screamed, or he tried, all he felt was the air from his lungs being helplessly pushed out, like someone was squeezing his chest but his vocal chords did nothing.  


Levi’s eyes snapped open. But he did not see the man, the burning city, or the blood, only a smudge of tears and a streak of sunlight from the crack in the curtain. He groaned loudly and rubbed his eyes furiously. His throat felt dry and scratchy, he needed to get a drink and wash his tear stained face before his roommate noticed. The apartment was quiet for the most part, car engines, chirping birds, and some lively conversation could be heard from the window, but inside there was the ticking of an old clock that hung in the hall and the gurgling of the coffee maker on the counter. Levi slipped out from his silky sheets and padded barefoot across the hardwood floor to his bathroom. The light flicked on and buzzed quietly. Levi groaned again and stared at his solemn expression. His cheeks felt stiff from the dried tears, his eyes looked just as pained. Bloodshot, reminding him of the man. That man. He didn’t even know his name! He just kept popping into his dreams, Levi felt a heavy tug on his heart every time he saw the man’s face. It would go from a sweet smile to the blood and terror. Levi would feel his legs grow wobbly and his body felt heavy like he had gotten down running a marathon. His chest tightened and he gripped the edges of the counter. Heavy ragged breaths echoed as his vision blurred. _Water, splash yourself with water, it’s just a dream._ Hands fumbled and smacked the counter. for the knobs, struggling to grasp and twist. Cold water was soon soaking the counter and his burning cheeks. “I don’t even know your name and you’ve already stolen my heart.” He shook his head and headed for the shower, his new semester started in a few hours.  


It was early May and yet the rain had not stopped. Levi heard his mother’s voice in his head, “April showers bring May flowers.” Her voice almost mocking his sad groans when he wished to play outside. He huffed a laugh out his nose and smirked, gripping his umbrella ready to take on the rain. The more it rained, the less humidity. The more rain also meant less people and that made him very happy. Summer semester always started out gloomy and quiet, which is why he opted for them. The classes were shorter though, 12 weeks of classes squished in 6 weeks instead. Fast paced but quiet and Levi was always ready for a challenge as well as some much needed quiet. It was his second year of college, in the fall he’d officially be marked as a junior. He was very thankful that his apartment was only a few blocks from his university so the walk through the rain was bearable and he didn’t get stuck in a down pour for too long. Rushing through the doors he quickly shut his umbrella and pealed a wet black lock from his forehead. “Ugh, I can hear my mother mocking me,” Levi ran a hand through his hair and shook some of the water out hearing the droplets plop onto the floor.  


“You know, my mother used to tease me when I begged her to play in the rain. Said I would get sick… wouldn’t you know she was right.” There was a deep laugh and Levi glanced over to where the voice had proceeded from. He stood about three feet to the left of him but the height difference was obvious. Levi had only glanced without turning his head and his eyes only met this man’s shoulder. Which gave Levi leeway to glance further down. This man was not only tall, he was very broad and built. The dark grey sweater he wore hugged his rigged muscles just right, just enough that Levi could see where his black slacks hung from his hips. The man brought his hand close to his face, apparently looking at his watch because a quick gasp escaped his lips. “Oh, fuck me, I wanted to be early today, better late than never.” The man walked away quickly and left Levi without another word and without a look at his face. But Levi got a good look at the rest of him. _Fuck me indeed_. After shaking out all the water from his hair and boots Levi realized the rain did impede his early arrival as well. He made haste to get into the class and pick the seat closest to the door so he could get in and out without extra conversation with classmates or the professor. That was time wasted and he just wanted to graduate.  


Quickly stepping through the door, he kept his eyes on the floor until he was firmly sat in his seat. He pulled out a pen and a notebook preparing himself for a quick look over the syllabus and a boring lecture that would last an hour. The professors voice sounded out asking everyone to sit down, “I’ll make this quick because I don’t want to be here anymore than you do. I’ve got quite a bit of lectures to break into 6 weeks. So, let’s get this over with, alright?” Levi looked up as the professor took stand in the middle of the room. “My name is Erwin Smith, please address me as Professor Smith, I have been a college professor for 8 years, and don’t start guessing my age,” he paused for a few giggles from ogling girls in the front row. “Welcome to Western History 109, so we’ll start at…” He locked eyes with Levi and it look like he had swallowed a handful of sand. Erwin cleared his throat uncomfortably and pulled roughly at the collar of his sweater. “Ah, excuse me, must be getting sick.” Erwin looked away just as quickly as Levi did. Was it because they happened to bump into each other earlier or was there a deeper sense of familiarity about Erwin? Levi felt hot and his cheeks burned, he needed to get himself together. This wasn’t time to be having a school-girl crush on the professor.  


Erwin had stepped away from the stand for a moment and gotten a big gulp of water from the bottle in his bag. He stripped his sweater to reveal a fitted black V-neck tucked neatly into his slacks. _You have got to be fucking kidding me_. Levi groaned quietly to himself as he got another look at Erwin. He underestimated how built Erwin really was, even though his sweater had hugged him nicely it didn’t show his tan skin, veins, or even the definition of his muscles. Levi swore again as his mind wandered from the lecture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No promises when I'll get the next chapter up, hopefully soon since I'm on summer break. I will make a schedule for myself! 
> 
> Also please let me know what you thought, is there enough dialogue? Am I describing the environment well enough? I never know because everyone prefers something different but I'd also like some good feedback. See ya later guys!
> 
> ************  
> Wanna see more about how my writing process is going or ever just to chat? Follow me!  
> Snapchat: Sonixbitches  
> Instagram: Atomicalpaca  
> Tumblr: atomicalpaca.tumblr.com  
> Follow the tag: Visions in the Meadow


	2. Silent Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi kept his eyes closed as the lips moved from his, trailed across his chin, and down into the crevasse of his neck. Another moan escaped his lips when there was a pinching sensation against his neck. “Fuck…” Dusty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and the most intoxicating smile. “Erwin… wait, wh-what are you?”

A large hand cupped Levi’s chin and he leaned into it closing his eyes, letting the weight of his head be supported by this hand. The hand was definitely a man’s, it wasn’t soft and slender like a woman’s, like his mothers. He felt warm under his touch. A thumb brushed gently against his lips briefly before it was replaced by someone else’s lips. They were soft at first as they pressed against him but soon his press felt more demanding. There was need in his kiss, all Levi could do was melt into it. Levi brought his hands up, running them up his chest and lacing his fingers on his neck. The large hand that cupped his face moved to the back of his head, tangling long fingers into his hand, another hand reached behind him and slowly moved down the curve of his back. Levi felt the hand move farther down, fiddling with the edge of his jeans. There was a sense of panic in the back of his head. He had to stop this. But the thought was muddled out as soon as he felt the hand slip into his jeans and grab his ass. Levi felt his eyes roll into his head and he moaned into the kiss. Levi kept his eyes closed as the lips moved from his, trailed across his chin, and down into the crevasse of his neck. Another moan escaped his lips when there was a pinching sensation against his neck. “Fuck…” Levi mumbled, shifting his hands from the man’s neck to his broad shoulders. Broad, muscular, warm, familiar. He felt safe and let the man take hold of him, letting all his walls down. Trailing more kisses, the man moved farther down, leaving quick pecks on his collar bone, chest, and down his abdomen. He soon reached the edge of Levi’s jeans, firmly setting his hands on each hip, hooking his thumbs into his waistband. There was a pause. Enough for Levi to notice and finally open his eyes. He looked down to finally meet the eyes of the man who had made him feel like a limp noodle. Dusty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and the most intoxicating smile. “Erwin… wait, wh-what are you?” He choked on his words as Erwin quickly pulled down his jeans and wrapped his hand around Levi’s already hard cock, taking his head into his mouth.

 

Levi snapped back to reality when Erwin clapped his hands together, “I think I’ll end our lecture for today here. Go ahead and read chapters one through four and turn in the quizzes online. I hope to see you all again tomorrow. Same time!” Erwin’s voice rang out like Levi had been smacked. That’s right, he was sitting in a lecture. He had been leaning his cheekbone against the heel of his hand, staring at Erwin the entire time, well in a way. His eyes kept on him but his mind was obviously elsewhere. The other students had already packed up their belongings and were meandering their ways out of the classroom. Levi on the other hand was very flustered and could feel his erection pushing against the zipper in his jeans. He quickly shoved his things back into his shoulder bag hoping he could slip out and get home. As he was stepping out the door, Erwin’s voice called out to him. “Hey, wait a minute!” Erwin had swung his bag on his shoulder and draped his sweater over his arm. He walked quickly over to Levi and their height difference became apparent again. Levi blushed heavily and looked at the ground. “I wanted to apologize for earlier, I don’t want you to see me like that… as a professor of course!” Erwin stuttered slightly with his words, as to not sound intrusive.

 

 _Please go away._ “Oh, no, you’re fine. My mother was the same way.” He gave Erwin a small smile before walking out of the room. He was determined to avoid Erwin until he could get his feelings in order or maybe even indefinitely. Erwin stared at him a little dumbfounded but walked alongside him. His stride was long so it was no trouble to keep up with Levi.

 

“I’d actually like to make it up to you,” Erwin stated nervously. “Nothing weird, a lot of my students are around my age and I like to get to know some of them.” He was fumbling. He was making cheap excuses. “Anyways, anyways… uh, how would you like to come out for a drink with me?” Erwin reached out and set a hand on Levi’s shoulder making them both stop in their tracks right before they were out of the doors.

 

Levi felt his heart skip a beat. _Go out… with you? No. NO!_ “A drink? Sure. It’ll get me away from my roommate.” _You idiot. You know you’re a bad drunk, what if you talk about what you actually thought about his lecture?_ He screamed in his head but all he gave Erwin was the same small smile. There was no way Erwin could tell what he was thinking. No way.

 

Erwin gave him back a big smile, “Cheers, at seven?”

 

He nodded and repeated his words, “yea, Cheers… seven. I’ll see you there.” Erwin let his hand fall back to his side and gave Levi a huge smile. Walking away, leaving Levi to stand at the doors. Mouth hanging open. Watching his professor walk away, the sun shining on his beautifully tan skin and soft dusty blonde hair. _What in the hell have I done?_

 

It took Levi ten more minutes than usual to get home because he kept stopping in his tracks at a new thought. He was arguing in his head all the way up to his front door. Could he make up an excuse? Maybe just one drink? It’s not like they were actually kissing, it was just a thought. It’s just a crush. He was overreacting. Plus, for him to graduate he needed two letters of recommendation, this could be an easy letter. Levi trudged through the door and roughly set his bag on the dining room table. Sighing heavily, he placed his hands on his faces and gave a loud disgruntled groan. “What am I doing?”

 

There was a sound of padding feet down the hall and Levi’s roommate emerged from the kitchen with a thermos of coffee and a cup of hot tea. “Well I was going to welcome you home, but it seems you already got quite a welcome.” Hanji mumbled, setting the tea down gently by where Levi stood in distress. “I don’t leave for work until six if you wanna talk,” she spoke gently which was different but she was his best friend, Levi couldn’t hide anything from her.

 

“Actually… I’m meeting someone for drinks later,” he hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip. “And I want to look decent, I guess.”

 

Hanji’s face lit up with joy. It looked as if she was about to jump out of her seat. “Yes! Oh yes! I’ll totally help. Tell me all about him? How’d you meet him? Is he tall? Of course he’s tall, look at you, short shit.” Levi shot her a death glare and she rolled her eyes. Levi knew she was going to be asking a million different questions but it’s only be she cared. He was pushed off into his bedroom for Hanji to dig through his closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, so I wrote this pretty fast. I was in the zone!! So I've set a schedule and a regulation. 
> 
> At least 1,000 words per chapter and at least 1 chapter a week. As of right now I'm not working so I have a lot of free time. Expect some binge chapters for right now, but they will dwindle down once I start working again.  
> ************  
> Wanna see more about how my writing process is going or ever just to chat? Follow me!  
> Snapchat: Sonixbitches  
> Instagram: Atomicalpaca  
> Tumblr: atomicalpaca.tumblr.com


	3. Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The man who he thought had no idea he was there, just gazed farther beyond where they were. Almost dreaming. Levi took a step forward but his shoe scuffed the ground, the man turned to look at Levi, his eyes open, but his gaze lost. Blue. Out of all the bleak colors that were drowning around them. That blue shot right through him.

“So why would your professor want to take you out for a drink?” Hanji questioned, walking out of the closet with three different shirts draped on her arm. “Maybe he thinks you’re a cutie!”

  
Levi snorted leaning against the wall. “He said he wanted to ‘apologize’,” he responded making air quotes with his hands. He watched Hanji toss the shirts into the bed and quickly run back into his closet.

  
“Apologize? For what?” Her voice was muffled but Levi still heard her. He already knew she’d ask why. She returned once again with two different pairs of black jeans. “I want you to put one of these on. They hug your butt just perfect.” Levi rolled his eyes at her and pushed himself off of the wall.

  
“We ended up walking in about the same time after getting soaked by the rain, and he openly admitted he was late and said fuck. It’s a little unprofessional to do that in front of your students but he’s young for being a professor.” Hanji laughed a little bit at his response and tossed herself on the bed making sure she took over the entire space.

  
“Oh, so he’s a young one huh? Maybe he’ll appreciate your old man attitude!” Her voice strained as she stretched her arms over her head, watching Levi wiggle into his jeans. “Do a spin for me.” Levi slopped his arms to his sides and grudgingly did a slow turn for her. “Look at you, I knew it, I love those.”

  
“Alright well, you gotta take off for work and I have to talk myself out of this.”

  
***

  
After twenty minutes of standing in front of the bathroom mirror lecturing himself and trying to convince himself that this was an entirely bad idea, Levi marched out the front door. Deciding that black jeans and a grey t-shirt with his white hoodie was good enough for a drink at the bar. By this time, the rain had settled and there was a very light drizzle, the sun was still hidden behind dark clouds so it felt like it was much later in the evening. People still crowded the streets as Levi made his way into the downtown area. There was lively conversation and laughing, clinking of glasses, and the scuffle of shoes against the pavement. Cheers was a good-sized bar, definitely one for college kids to all hang around and celebrate their first legal drink. Levi didn’t spend a lot of time here because of his “old man attitude”, he didn’t enjoy the senseless partying.  
Arriving at Cheers, Levi was still hesitant to make his way through the door.

 _There’s still time to turn back…_ He thought standing near the doorway. Eyes locked on the pavement just beyond his shoes, hands shoved into his sweatshirt pocket. The pavement was grey, like the sky was above him. Levi could feel himself spacing out and his first was less than pleasant. At his feet were no longer the rough grey pavement. But a man. A man who sat just before him, covered in an unbelievable number of straps. His eyes were staring down at back as he faced away and he dared to look farther. Levi shook with fear and anticipation. He had to know who, who was causing him so much pain. The man who he thought had no idea he was there, just gazed farther beyond where they were. Almost dreaming. Levi took a step forward but his shoe scuffed the ground, the man turned to look at Levi, his eyes open, but his gaze lost. Blue. Out of all the bleak colors that were drowning around them. That blue shot right through him. Levi looked away, squeezing his eyes shut. There was no telling at how long he had stood like that until a scuffing sound pulled him back to the pavement and the bar, back to reality. Levi blinked and shook his head a bit before focusing on what now had taken residence on the pavement before him.

  
Shoes. Shoes that were also followed by a pair of fitting dark wash jeans and a mauve, pale purple, t-shirt, topped with a dark brown leather jacket. The further his eyes trailed the more he had to look up. And of course, he had already suspected who now stood before him. “Erwin,” Levi breathed out catching sight of his striking blue eyes. That blue that had filled him with so much fear but so much warmth.  
Erwin returned a very friendly and inviting smile, he made a quick look to his wrist, and returned his gaze to Levi. “I hope I’m not too early, I was hoping to beat you here.” He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. “So, uh, ready for a drink?” Levi nodded weakly and chewed on his bottom lip.  
Erwin held the door open and followed closely behind him. Levi could smell his cologne as soon as he walked past him. _Really? There’s got to be one con about this man._ He mumbled thanks and weaved his way to the bar, ready to down a drink. Okay, down multiple drinks.

  
***

  
Several seven-and-sevens later, Levi could feel his cheeks burning and his mind sway. Erwin was the same, sipping at another glass of whiskey, his face flushed and his blonde hair tussled. There had been a lot of silence when they first sat down, but Erwin decided to take the lead and tell embarrassing stories about his student teaching days. “Okay, I got another one, okay?” Levi laughed and nodded him as a signal that he was listening. “One time, I was assisting a high school freshman anatomy class, just to get a feel of the classroom, if I had to sub for a class I didn’t know anything about. So, these kids were about, ehhh, 15, maybe 16.” He took a quick pause and another sip of his whiskey. “I will never, ever, be able to forget this. Oh god,” he groaned and looked away.

  
Levi, without thinking, reached out and laid a hand on Erwin’s arm. Giving him a gentle squeeze. “Tell me… please.” His cheeks burned more than the alcohol already had. Thankfully their alcohol burning cheeks hid both of their blushing. But the goofy smiles they gave each other were a dead giveaway.

  
Erwin took another sip of his whiskey and took a deep breath. “Okay fine. Fine. The subject of this particular lesson was sexual reproduction. I’m just innocently grading last week’s quizzes, so I have no idea what he is actually teaching right now. I hear him call my name out and ask me to stand up. No big deal, I thought maybe a student had a question. No. Not even close. This dude pulls me into the center and makes it like a huge announcement. ‘So when a woman would be looking for a mate, she would look for strength and dominance, who is able to survive. Like Darwin’s theory. Erwin has plenty of build, he would be an ideal mate!’” He took a second to look at Levi who was biting back laughter. “All I remember was some girls whistling and a lot of laughter. I bet my face was a red as a tomato.” He pulled his arm back to run it over his forehead and Levi let his laughter ring.

  
“That is fucking hilarious!” Levi belted out. He quickly realized that he might have been rude and reached out to Erwin again. Laying a gentle hand on Erwin’s shoulder this time. “If it’s anything, I agree,” he said gently, leaning in closer so he could whisper to Erwin. “I think you could dominate me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god guys, I'm so sorry. I lost my head for awhile.
> 
> ************  
> Wanna see more about how my writing process is going or ever just to chat? Follow me!  
> Snapchat: Sonixbitches  
> Instagram: Atomicalpaca  
> Tumblr: atomicalpaca.tumblr.com


	4. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stay with me tonight.” Erwin mumbled.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ll stay, for you.”

Erwin felt chills run straight down his spine and his choked on his drink. Swallowing hard he looked over his shoulder at Levi. Levi silently hoped he didn’t cross a boundary but the words had slipped so easily out of his mouth. His hand still lay on Erwin’s shoulder as they stared silently at each other. Levi began to retract his hand but was quickly stopped as another lay on top of his, lacing their fingers together. Erwin turned on his barstool and stood, towering over Levi again. This time, standing in front of Levi, he leaned down next to his ear, his mouth was close enough to ruffle the hair against Levi’s ear. “All you have to do is say please.” He murmured. 

 

Levi felt the word leave his mouth. He could taste the need in it. Erwin gripped his hand harder and gently pulled Levi towards the front door. Erwin didn’t make any notice to them as they quietly slipped out into the street. It was now dark and the street lights gave the road a warm orange glow. The air was still humid but chilly, and the breeze against Levi’s cheeks felt nice. He didn’t feel like he was burning up, well on the outside. On the inside was more complicated. He lusted after Erwin, it was a need. He needed him. Right now. And right now, he was carelessly following Erwin’s lead while still holding firmly onto his hand. Erwin had slowed his pace after getting a block from the bar so that Levi now walked at his side. The street became much quieter the farther they walked, the thumping music and lively chatter fading quickly. Levi looked up at Erwin, admiring the gentle smile and sharp jaw line, the rough stubble on his face that was evidence from his rushed morning, Levi thought of how that would feel against his own face. Erwin glanced down quickly, catching Levi’s wandering eyes. Levi looked away quickly and nibbled at his lip. Erwin just chuckled softly and pulled Levi closer to him.

 

They continued to walk for a few more blocks before Erwin led him into a tall apartment building. The man at the front desk said hello and waved them on. Erwin lowered his hand the small of Levi’s back leading him into the empty elevator, following closely behind and pressing the button for floor 16. This is going to be a long ride. Levi heard the door close and felt the elevator jerk into motion, he turned to lean on the wall, but as he turned around he was faced with Erwin’s chest. He inhaled deeply, letting Erwin’s cologne take over. “You smell intoxicating.” Levi said, still staring straight at Erwin’s pale purple t-shirt.

 

“I could say the same for you,” Erwin responded. Levi realized he meant to keep that to himself and covered his mouth with his hand, quickly returning his gaze to the floor. Erwin took his hand and gently put it against Levi’s jaw. Removing Levi’s hand and raising his head so he couldn’t look away. He leaned down and kissed Levi. His lips were warm and soft. Levi was caught off guard for a moment but closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. Erwin broke the kiss staring at Levi, but the elevator door opened behind him and he gained his composure for a moment. Standing tall, literally shielding any sight of Levi. He stepped out hoping Levi would follow. He did without hesitation.

 

He didn’t remember the walk from the front door to the bed because by the time he had stepped through the door and Erwin had locked it, their lips were locked together, their hands fighting at each other’s clothing. When they had made into in Erwin’s bedroom, they were both down to their t-shirts and jeans. The back of Levi’s knees were against the edge of the bed. One small push and he would go down so easily. He broke the kiss this time. Admiring Erwin. His blonde hair was a tousled mess, his face was flushed and his cheeks were blushed, even though the room was dark and he stood like a shadow over Levi, he could still see the rise and fall of his shoulders from his ragged breathing and the icy blue eyes that made him melt. Levi let his hands fall from Erwin’s neck and he grazed his fingertips down Erwin’s chest to the edge of his shirt. He gently played with the seam before letting his hands slip under, hooking the edge on his thumbs.

 

Erwin’s skin was hot. His muscles were tight and Levi could feel him flinch under his touch. He went slowly. Enjoying the anticipation. It was like a game show and they finally revealed what was behind the curtain but in slow motion but he was in control. Levi was up to Erwin’s chest before Erwin reached and slipped his shirt off, letting Levi keep his hands resting on his chest. Erwin did the same to Levi but much quicker. Erwin grasped the edge of Levi’s shirt and ran his hands firmly up his sides and helped slipped the shirt off. Erwin used his height to an advantage and took a slow step forward, pushing Levi harder against the edge of the bed. He fought with his belt buckle for a moment before it finally released and he let his jeans fall to the floor. He gave Levi a quick kiss before helping him with his jeans. Levi stepped out of them and he blushed harder. In a swift movement, they were both on the bed. Levi’s legs were pushed up and they now rested on Erwin’s thighs. Erwin smiled at Levi and caressed his jaw with his hand, “you are beautiful Levi.” He spoke softly, planting kisses on his cheek and down his jaw line. Moving downward to his neck. “I saw you staring at me during class today. I want to know what you were thinking.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Levi denied, it was too embarrassing. Erwin wasn’t falling for it though. He bit into the curve of Levi’s neck and a harsh gasp escaped Levi’s lips. 

 

“Is that so?” Erwin leaned onto his forearm, continuing to peck at Levi’s neck and collar bone, while his other arm snaked down to Levi’s briefs. He ran his hand over the fabric and cupped Levi’s erection, rubbing gently. “I don’t think this is the first time I’ve given you such a hard-on.” 

 

Levi bit his lip and moaned. “Erwin… please.”

 

Erwin chuckled and moved his attention elsewhere. He kissed further down to Levi’s chest, licking and biting at his nipple. He removed his hand from Levi’s briefs, teasing his other nipple. He moved closer to his hips, nipping at his skin. Levi arched his back, grinding against Erwin’s own erection. “Someone’s eager.” Erwin whispered against his stomach, running chills up Levi’s spine, he shivered with anticipation.

 

“Just… Just fuck me already.”

 

“Alright, fine, I think I’ve teased you enough since this morning.” Levi groaned and rolled his eyes. He lifted his hips, helping Erwin pull off his briefs, watching at Erwin took off his own. Levi had felt his erection and suspected he was big, but he was underestimating him. He took a deep breath in and groaned. Erwin shadowed over him again, his hands planted on either side of Levi’s head. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his forehead, Levi closed his eyes and hummed in delight at the sweet gesture. “Relax.” When Levi opened his eyes, Erwin was no longer towering over him, he tried to prop himself onto his elbows but a rush of pleasure hit him like a brick and he felt weak.

 

Erwin was now between his legs again, hand firmly wrapped around his cock. Erwin looked up at him softly, watching Levi’s reactions as his stroked slowly. He sat forward on his knees, licking the entire length of his shaft before taking the head into his mouth. Levi grasped desperately at the sheets while he groaned uncontrollably feeling Erwin’s mouth bob up and down on his cock. “Fuck. Erwin. I want you… I want you so bad.” Erwin hallowed out his cheeks before removing his mouth. He leaned forward more and reached over Levi, grabbing a condom and a bottle of lube. 

 

“If I hurt you, let me know.” Erwin spoke softly, rolling on the condom and squeezing lube onto his fingers. Levi nodded weekly, anticipating both the pain and the pleasure. He used his fingers to rub around his anus before sliding a finger in. Levi gasped for air and Erwin’s head snapped up, “are you okay?” He asked.   
Levi tilted his head up and glared at him. “Don’t you dare fucking stop.”

 

Erwin smirked and continued working, letting Levi grind against his hand as he slipped in another finger. Another gasp came from Levi but Erwin already received his warning and didn’t stop this time. He let Levi grind against three fingers until he looked ready to lose control before pulling his fingers out and re-positioning himself. He held his cock firmly and pushed slowly, again letting Levi grind slowly. He pushed himself further in and pulled out slowly, watching Levi with a soft expression. Levi’s eyes were closed and he pushed his head into the mattress, moaning loudly in between harsh breaths. 

 

Once Erwin had managed to get his entire length inside Levi he paused. Levi opened his eyes and blinked, making immediate eye contact with Erwin. He was back where he started. Hands on either side of his head and a that stupid smiled. “You’re still beautiful.” Levi scoffed at him and pulled him down for a kiss. Erwin leaned onto his forearms again continuing to kiss Levi but also setting a slow pace. He broke their kiss and stared into Levi’s eyes before moaning and rolling his eyes into his head. “Fuck, Levi. You’re going to make me cum.” Erwin reached down, grabbing Levi’s cock again and stroking at the same pace he hips were moving. 

 

Levi tangled his fingers into Erwin’s hair, “so am I, don’t stop.” He gasped out. He felt like a fish out of water but instead of pain all he felt was pleasure. So much pleasure. Levi came quickly and Erwin continued to stroke him through his orgasm, following him shortly after. He pulled out and laid next to Levi, brushing damp strands of hair from his forehead.

 

“Stay with me tonight.” Erwin mumbled.

 

“I’ll stay, for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a mess!! Sorry, anyways, while I am gay, never had gay sex. So this concept was all foreign to me. Hope you enjoyed however, now it's going to get kind of sappy. TIME FOR AN EMOTIONAL ROLLAR COASTER
> 
> ************  
> Wanna see more about how my writing process is going or ever just to chat? Follow me!  
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	5. Come Back to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay Levi. I’m okay.” He furrowed his brows and sighed deeply. He lessened his hold on Levi, pulling him back so he could look at his face again. “There are things you need to be told.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals slightly with PTSD

It was early morning by the time Levi awoke. He was curled up on his side and pushed himself up into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He blinked a few times as his eyes watered. There was a small sense of panic before he realized where he was. _Erwin’s…_ He heard a heavy sigh and glanced back over his shoulder. Erwin slept peacefully, tangled in the blanket. _How are you still so sexy sleeping?_ Levi thought begrudgingly. He had not seen the room entirely last night and it was now filled with a warm orange glow.

Hard wood flooring was smooth and polished under his bare feet, slipping into his briefs, he made his way over to a window. He gently pulled back the curtain and squinted in pain from the bright sun. But what he saw was no longer skyscrapers and cars on a busy street. The once modern city was now more rustic. The buildings looked to be made of wood and concrete blocks. There were no honking cars on the pavement below, there were people, horse carriages, and cobblestone roads. Levi let go of the curtain feeling light-headed. He took a few steps back from the window, _was I that drunk?_ Another heavy sigh came from Erwin and Levi’s head shot right in his direction like he was being caught doing something wrong.

Levi watched him sit up from the bed. Erwin rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over, “good morning captain.”

“Uh, morning…” Levi mumbled, still frozen in place. Erwin reached off the edge of the bed on the opposite side, obviously dressing himself. Levi gave him some privacy and stared back at the window, curious as to where he was. Erwin stood and made his was around the end of the bed, walking over to Levi. He put a warm hand on his shoulder and Levi finally turned to face him. Levi put the strange city to the back of him. Erwin was what mattered now. Though when Levi looked up at Erwin, he seemed… different. It was Erwin, but he looked more aged. As if stress aged him ten more years. The worry lines of his forehead more prominent and the scruff on his face was more of a beard. Levi blinked a few times, wondering again if he could still be dreaming. He turned to face Erwin fully and he was hit with panic. One was Erwin’s arms was… _missing?!_ It bandaged just above where his elbow would be. Levi could feel his breath come more raggedly and he felt light headed. “ _What happened?! Erwin, my god, wh-what…”_ Levi could barely gasp the words out and he dropped to his knees. His head swam, his vision blurred. He grasped desperately at his chest, hoping somehow, he could knock air into his lungs. He could feel Erwin’s hand on his shoulder and shouts and thumping feet. But all he felt was numb and distant. Flashes of blood and sunken eyes flashed through his vision. He caught his breath and let out a rough scream, using his hands to rap around his skulls and pull at his hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, begging that the visions would go away.

All at once the world became silent.

Besides the pounding heartbeat and shallows breaths, Levi heard nothing. He no longer felt the wood beneath his legs or the heat from the sun. He felt warm though. But it was from someone else. Tight arms were wrapped around his shoulders, his head nested against their chest. Slowly Levi felt himself feel more grounded. The pounding in his ears drained and his breathing became regular again, following the match of the person who held him. Soft shooshes were made from above him and a warm, soft hand rubbed slowly over his upper back. Levi pushed back a little, loosening their grip on him. He looked up and saw Erwin’s soft eyes staring down at him, teary and full of concern and worry. “Levi… what were you seeing?” He asked softly.

“It was just a bad dream,” Levi mumbled and looked away.

Erwin caught his chin and turned him back to look at him, “bad dreams don’t leave you screaming like that.”

Levi gulped roughly and closed his eyes for a second, trying to blink away tears. “It was like a memory… I felt like I knew where I was, but it felt so long ago. And. And I saw you, but it wasn’t you at the same time, I don’t know.” He paused for a moment, frustrated. “You looked so different and your arm-.” Levi panicked and grabbed at Erwin’s forearm, “your arm was missing, I don’t even know what happened and I panicked.” His breathing picked up again and he could feel the tears welling in his eyes.

Erwin wrapped his arms around him again and squeezed. “It’s okay Levi. I’m okay.” He furrowed his brows and sighed deeply. He lessened his hold on Levi, pulling him back so he could look at his face again. “There are things you need to be told.”

***

Soon Levi and Erwin were dressed back into their clothes, and Levi sat in Erwin’s living room with a cup of hot tea. Erwin had let Levi borrow a deep grey hoodie to slip on, since somehow in the midst of last night there was whiskey on his t-shirt, and Levi had wrinkled his nose at the smell. The hoodie was much too large for his small frame but he didn’t mind because it smelled of Erwin’s cologne. The apartment was silent for the most part, Erwin was in another room with the door closed but Levi could hear his frustrated voice on the phone. The door clicked and Erwin emerged, rubbing his fingers over the bridge of his nose. Levi wanted to ask what was wrong, though there were a lot of questions he had prior. He opened his mouth to speak but Erwin spoke first, “I have a few friends coming over to help me… well to help you, uh, understand what you were seeing. I’m sorry, I know this sounds weird. Just trust me.” Erwin was fumbling over his words. Levi just stared in awe, nodding silently, sinking back into the overstuffed couch.

Levi sipped at his tea as time ticked by. Soon enough there was a knock at the door. Erwin opened it with a solemn smile and open arms. His back was to Levi so he couldn’t see who was coming in. After a few hugs, two people filed in, following Erwin into the living room.  There was another man about the same height as Erwin, maybe even taller, if that was even possible. He had dirty blonde hair that hung about half way down his ears and a sparse beard, he held a large hand out to Levi, “nice to see you-excuse me, name’s Mike.” Levi shook his hand meekly and retuned his hand to the cup in his lap. Mike smiled softly and took a seat in one of the chairs. Following closely behind was… Hanji. Her normally vibrant smile was gone, and she held a very neutral face. She gave a smile wave and stood next to Mike.

Erwin came in from the kitchen with two glasses of ice water for his guests and took a seat next to Levi. The apartment was silent again and Levi could feel their eyes on him. It was irritating to say the least. “Jesus fucking Christ, what is going on?” He asked impatiently, demanding an answer.

Erwin took a deep breath and spoke clearly, “the ‘dreams’ you’ve been having, they’re not dreams, Levi. That’s why they’re so vivid. They’re memories. If that makes any sense, I know it sounds crazy, but Hanji, Mike, and I all remember what happened. We’ve been waiting and waiting for you to remember. I honestly doubted myself for a moment. I thought I would never find you again-.” Levi set down his cup of tea hard on the coffee table before him, interrupting Erwin.

“You’re insane,” he mumbled. “There’s no way! There’s no fucking way. You… you died Erwin! I watched you die, over and over and over. Every fucking time I closed my eyes, I watched the love of my life die and I didn’t even know your name. I could just feel how you held my heart and I had to let you go. Do you understand how hard that was?! I never told anyone, because I hoped it wasn’t real, I hoped it was just some stupid nightmare.” He took a breath and faced Erwin. “How long have you known?”

“You moved in with Hanji at the beginning of the last fall semester, so since last August. She came to me one day after a class I was teaching, said it was important news, she found you.” Levi looked over at Hanji and she nodded at Erwin’s words. “She dragged me back to your apartment, I could feel my heart beating hard, I searched for so long. I walked into the apartment and you stood with your back to me in the kitchen. I knew it was you. But Hanji stopped me when I wanted to reach out to you.” Erwin swallowed hard, “she told me that you didn’t remember who I was… It felt like you died, that I had to let the love of my life go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, I'm sorry that the posting is so irregular.  
> This chapter was hard for me to write but it was so freeing at the same time. I have PTSD and so I wanted to show how it feels through Levi. It's worse than writing can describe. As time goes by though it's easier to talk about, I hope you guys enjoyed!!!  
> ************  
> Wanna see more about how my writing process is going or ever just to chat? Follow me!  
> Snapchat: Sonixbitches  
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> Follow the tag: Visions in the Meadow


	6. Metempsychosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Metempsychosis  
> noun  
> the supposed transmigration at death of the soul of a human being or animal into a new body of the same or a different species.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long

Levi felt a bad taste in his mouth and found it hard to swallow. He wanted to scream at Erwin, tell me how angry he was. “Erwin,” he started but closed his mouth and looked down at his lap. The air between them was stale and cold. Levi had so much to stay but had no idea where to start. Of course, he was angry, angry at the fact that Erwin let him go so long without telling him. How easily the nightmares could’ve been explained. He was also sad, both of them have had their hearts ripped out and stomped on. Shattered entirely. “Erwin, I-how, how do I get my memory back?” Levi asked quietly.

 

Erwin’s eyes lit up and he laid a gentle hand on Levi’s knee, “look at me.” Levi hesitated for a minute before meeting his gaze. Erwin’s face was full of concern but hope, “we will find a way, all of us will.”

 

“Together,” Mike chimed in.

 

“Yea, together!” Hanji said excitedly. The atmosphere changed in the room, everyone now wore smiling faces full of hope and it made Levi smirk. “I actually mine back when I was young. My next door neighbor, Moblit, turned out to be another one of us. He was my best friend growing up. Our parents never really understood why we clicked so fast and brushed it off as fate.” She huffed a laugh out of her nose, “I think it was about senior year of high school, Moblit and I were on a trip. My car was having issues and was smoking like a chimney. Like the idiot I am, I opened the hood and got a face full of steam. Poor Moblit didn’t get off to easy either. But our memories finally clicked back. They had always been there and we had both been having nightmares, well visions in a way, and it really just happened.”

 

Mike nodded at her words, and continued, “I didn’t remember until recently. I was having nightmares like you, Levi. So vivid and violent, I remember seeing Erwin, Hanji, and you as well.” Levi’s eyes grew wide and he stared intently. “We interacted so much throughout our days, we were all really close friends. I had literally bumped into Erwin.”

Erwin rolled his eyes and punched Mike softly on the shoulder, “yea, this guy knocked me down in the hallway. But it was my fault. Oh man, that was a day. I was so ready to kick his ass but when I looked at his face, I never felt so relieved.”

 

“It was the most amazing feeling. We sat on that floor for a good five minutes hugging and yelling at each other.”

 

“I went twenty-three years without seeing my best friend, of course we’re going to yell at each other.” They both laughed loudly, filling the room with echoes.

 

  
Levi smiled brightly, they were all so hopeful. It was a warm feeling between them. Among all the death and the worrying, they had all come back. They all came back to find each other. Though Levi felt hopeful, there was still a pit in his chest. He spoke with a small voice, “Erwin, it was so easy for you all, what if it’s not like that for me? What if I can’t find mine?” He felt the pit in his chest swirl, it felt tangled and tight, like someone had tied his heart in a knot. He furrowed his brows and shut his eyes tight.

 

The knot seemed to loosen when he felt Erwin. He was now in front of Levi, resting his knees on the ground. Long, strong, arms wrapped around his shoulders and his forehead resting on Levi’s shoulder. Levi blinked a few times in surprise before burying his face into Erwin’s neck, taking in how wonderful he smelled and how every touch spiked a fire in his gut. It was like a faraway home. Something he had been dreaming of and kept coming back to, but could never quite find his way. Levi bit his lip trying to fight back tears, “I’m just happy I found you, we can create so many more memories now.” Erwin spoke quietly, his breath tickling Levi’s neck. “You are my past, my present, and my future.”

 

Hanji squealed from her seat. Mike gave her a death glare before she seemed to sink into her chair. A low grumble came from her and she glanced at her tummy before mouthing ‘sorry’. Erwin sighed against Levi and relaxed his hold. When he looked at Levi again, both of their faces were blotchy and tear stained. He laughed shortly and ran his thumbs across Levi’s cheeks. “How about we start with some food? We can all sit together and fill in some holes for Levi.” Mike was ready to lead, and was probably just as hungry after being woke up so early.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'm going to be continuing this one, I rushed it and it's messy. I can't really go back and change this, you know? But I plan on starting a new one. Anyways, I start school the 21st, which also means I can't be around to write very often.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking around c:


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